How do we Know the Face of Love

'Love is the irresistible desire to be loved irresistibly.' Louis Ginsberg

How do we know the face of Love?

This is a question that I know the answer to in my heart, to the very core of me -- and yet ... ?

We humans are such splendid creatures -- we know when there is a situation that is dire to our circumstance such as freezing cold or scalding heat; we know when we are tired, or when we feel well rested, but this simple yet obviously complex question of the state of our heart, soul, and mind ... simply baffles us.

We know we love many elements of our life -- music, art, film, food ... we know that honey is a lovely sensation on our tongues and satisfies our craving for sweetness (not quite as well as chocolate perhaps, but I'm sure you get the gist of the statement); we know that a good book can satisfy our imagination and bring about all sorts of grand and billowing pictures in our minds if it is well written, and that music can blend our heart and soul into light and mystery and forever bring to mind the wonder of a moment. But what is this elusive state of love in the context of how we mean it in reference -- and reverence -- toward those we care deeply for, those individuals who make our hearts soar as if on gossamer wings?

As a young man I "fell in love" constantly ... Whenever a wondrous creature of light and flesh turned my head, every time a beautiful eye would blink just so, or a breeze would ruffle a skirt, I would be off in a heated search for the wonder of this incredible new Love.

Now we all know that this is the contrivance of an immature mind lusting after every opportunity that arises ... and we all do this; it's part and parcel of the human condition, and since we are these tempestuous and amazing creatures, it is also part of our growth as human beings ... Thank goodness we grow out of this; the hormonal rush would be just to much for this aging soul (LOL).

As we grow into ourselves, becoming comfortable within our own skin and emerging as mature adults, I believe we are more able to deal with the reality of what love is, with the comfortable and the uncomfortable aspects of this heightened state of awareness.

I know that Jaliya is the person on this Earth that I most love; she smells right to me, feels right, and sounds like the other part of my soul when she speaks. When she says "Baby ... ", it causes a melt in my heart that will allow her to continue with "... will you take out the trash?" or whatever she has around that calls for my attention, and I have never had that feeling with another being (thought it doesn't preclude the fact that I may not want to take out the trash, just that it tends to make it all right). We know that animals choose us -- we become their "chosen human" -- and I think that Jaliya and I are one another's chosen mates and that feels wonderful.

So to answer the original question, "How do we know the face of Love", we know because the person that we love most dearly is an extension of all the good we would like to see in ourselves, and is the person we just can't imagine waking up each morning without, as if that would be a pain that could never heal. I know that this in particular is the thing that tugs at me most right now because for much of the week Jaliya and I are apart, and I don't feel I work well without her here, but I do, and I continue through my week waiting for the weekend when she is home, and then I feel complete and peaceful.

I would love to take the two little ones in the photo I chose to start this article, and tell them one thing that is true: It gets so much better ... so much better.

Thank you all, and blessings on you and yours ... Have a great day.

We Walk The Path My Love ...

"Immature love says ' I love you because I need you.' Mature love says " I need you because I love you.' Erich Fromm



I wish to tell the story of my love Jaliya and I, and in doing so she is with me in my heart though we are separated by a few miles at this juncture in our lives.

Those of you who have been friendly and loving to my darling girl, and read her blog, will know whereof I speak, if you are new to this blog and haven't been part of my wifes sojourne then in short she has gone to a mental health facility that is helping her deal with clinical depression. This has been a lifelong battle for her, and the most daunting experience of her life (as anyone who has suffered with this malady can attest to). That she has kept her beautiful mind intact is a testament to her inner strength, these and so many other things, aspects of the whole of her, are the reasons why I love her above all else in my life save me, and I say this because I have come to understand that if one doesn't love and care for one's self, then you can not be strong when you truly need to be.

A business that I had been working for was closed by the owner who had run it into the ground, and in doing so almost ended my career as a hairstylist (the details of this situation I will not bore you with), suffice to say I needed to gain employment quickly, I came across an ad in the local paper that a very ton-y apartment building was looking for a concierge for evenings on the weekends, so I applied and got the job.

I must say, and I think it's because I truly love people, that I loved the job, the management were very fair to employees and the tenants were fabulous as a whole.

After a few months I had become quite friendly with some of the tenants, and one of them in particular was the (not known then) brother of my darling girl, Perry (not his true name) and I became quite chatty as is both our natures, and he would stop and talk whenever he was in for a visit.

One night, and this one was to change my life forever, he came in with a very bubbly young woman, and introduced me to her, this was one of a few meetings Jaliya and I were to have before our actuality, and Perry was her younger brother (she has two other siblings), so we stood and kibbutzed a bit and off they went to visit Mum and Dad. I knew then and there, like being hit with a mallet.

Jaliya's Mum was very dear to me, and her father and I were quite friendly also and so what follows was a huge shock to me.

I came to work one cold January day to find out that her mum had passed away the night before from emphysema, well to say the least I was shocked and truly wounded at this loss, Perry came in later after a time and explained what had happened and I shared my condolences with him for he and the rest of the family and after a few minutes he went upstairs to his father. Later that night Jaliya came in, and though she says she doesn't remember I came around the desk and gave her a hug, told her how sorry I was.

The funeral was to be the next Tuesday ( I believe), and out of respect for the family I went to help share in there grief, and be a show of strength if I could be. I remember sitting at the back of the chapel, watching as my love went about the process of being a gracious host to her mothers rememberers, and thinking " this poor darling is broken apart, with such dignity" and my heart verily broke for her. Later at the graveside, I positioned myself behind her and to her left at a distance, and when all was said and done, and everyone started to move away from the grave I approached her and with all the love in my heart said to her "This is neither the time or the place, but I would truly love to have a coffee with you someday and talk about your Mom." this I think threw her a little but we agreed to talk another time, and I left her to her pain.

One day when she was in town visiting her Dad after the shock had worn down a bit, we talked at some length and agreed that she would call me when she was next in town and we would get together for a coffee and our conversation.

I didn't hear from her for about two weeks, and then late one morning as I was sitting with friends in a local restaurant (we met every morning for coffee and conversation), I got a call from her saying she was in town visiting her dad and she would be free in about an hour, so I told her where to meet me and to call me as she was leaving and I would meet her on the street corner.

Needless to say, I was a tad excited to be finally getting to spend some time with her ( I had known from the first minute we met that she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with ), and it would be a for-telling of the rest of my life. About 45 minutes later I got a call from her saying she had just left her dads place and that she would be there in about 20 minutes all things considered, so I told her where I was, how to get to me, and that I would be waiting on the corner for her.

35 minutes later, freezing my tookis off, she finally pulled up, I got into her car and she apologized for how long it took, "No problem at all" was my reply ( I would later realize that this was to be an on-going tradition of me waiting for her :) ). So I showed her how to get into the nearby underground parking, and off we went. Once parked we came outside and started to walk to a nearby restaurant for our "coffee and chat". I'd noticed she didn't have gloves so I dangled my hand incase she wanted to hold onto it for warmth, what occurred next blew my socks off. Jaliya sidled up to me and hooked her arm around my waist, latched her thumb through a belt loop and gave a little snug, this blew me away, I looked at her and we laughed and continued to the restaurant.

Well, long story somewhat short, our 45 minute "chat" turned into a 4hour lunch, and as they say, the rest is history. We were separated by distance only for a short time and since I made the choice to move to her, we have never been separated, until now.

So dear people, that was our beginning, and I have loved her, been in love with her and found our way to love with her these 7 years, and we will be together forever, this we know in our bones. But this has been a trying year, filled with much pain for my love and I, and we are still here, and just had a great weekend together, and now the hours apart don't seem so long for I get to see her in 2 days on a visit, and then 2 days later for another weekend. And so it goes.

To all of you I wish health, happiness and love. Keep your hearts true and kind and I will talk to you again soon. Peace be with you all.

Always Remember That I Love You

Hi, I'm back. This has been a very trying year for myself and my wife Jaliya; she is known to some of you ardent bloggers -- her works (Pushing Fifty Gently, A Post-Cynical Seer, and The Quoteable I Ching) have become quite popular with some of you and it has warmed my heart that you have befriended these sites; Jaliya is thrilled to pieces.

Any of you who have been keeping up to date will know that she has entered into a mental health facility (of her own volition, and for which I am very proud of her) and will without a doubt reap the benefits of her experience there.

It's been somewhat of a surreal year on my side; watching the one I love and adore spiral helplessly into depression is an experience that we both wish none of you ever have to go through, but I must say at this juncture that it has been a ... lesson in faith, and a ladder to the creation of a new level of me. I have found both strengths and weaknesses in my character that I had never before realized I had the capacity to achieve or contain -- "I learn, therefore I am" comes to mind.

All this being said, the above video is a creation of mine dedicated to the woman I love and in whom I have found love like I have never known; it was created as a testament to her enduring strength of character and to the love that she so warmly sheds on myself and all of you (friends, family, loved ones and fellow bloggers).

And finally I would like to thank all of you who have shared your thoughts and compassion with Jaliya in this time that has not been an easy one for her ... Remember that you are loved also ...