We Walk The Path My Love ...

"Immature love says ' I love you because I need you.' Mature love says " I need you because I love you.' Erich Fromm



I wish to tell the story of my love Jaliya and I, and in doing so she is with me in my heart though we are separated by a few miles at this juncture in our lives.

Those of you who have been friendly and loving to my darling girl, and read her blog, will know whereof I speak, if you are new to this blog and haven't been part of my wifes sojourne then in short she has gone to a mental health facility that is helping her deal with clinical depression. This has been a lifelong battle for her, and the most daunting experience of her life (as anyone who has suffered with this malady can attest to). That she has kept her beautiful mind intact is a testament to her inner strength, these and so many other things, aspects of the whole of her, are the reasons why I love her above all else in my life save me, and I say this because I have come to understand that if one doesn't love and care for one's self, then you can not be strong when you truly need to be.

A business that I had been working for was closed by the owner who had run it into the ground, and in doing so almost ended my career as a hairstylist (the details of this situation I will not bore you with), suffice to say I needed to gain employment quickly, I came across an ad in the local paper that a very ton-y apartment building was looking for a concierge for evenings on the weekends, so I applied and got the job.

I must say, and I think it's because I truly love people, that I loved the job, the management were very fair to employees and the tenants were fabulous as a whole.

After a few months I had become quite friendly with some of the tenants, and one of them in particular was the (not known then) brother of my darling girl, Perry (not his true name) and I became quite chatty as is both our natures, and he would stop and talk whenever he was in for a visit.

One night, and this one was to change my life forever, he came in with a very bubbly young woman, and introduced me to her, this was one of a few meetings Jaliya and I were to have before our actuality, and Perry was her younger brother (she has two other siblings), so we stood and kibbutzed a bit and off they went to visit Mum and Dad. I knew then and there, like being hit with a mallet.

Jaliya's Mum was very dear to me, and her father and I were quite friendly also and so what follows was a huge shock to me.

I came to work one cold January day to find out that her mum had passed away the night before from emphysema, well to say the least I was shocked and truly wounded at this loss, Perry came in later after a time and explained what had happened and I shared my condolences with him for he and the rest of the family and after a few minutes he went upstairs to his father. Later that night Jaliya came in, and though she says she doesn't remember I came around the desk and gave her a hug, told her how sorry I was.

The funeral was to be the next Tuesday ( I believe), and out of respect for the family I went to help share in there grief, and be a show of strength if I could be. I remember sitting at the back of the chapel, watching as my love went about the process of being a gracious host to her mothers rememberers, and thinking " this poor darling is broken apart, with such dignity" and my heart verily broke for her. Later at the graveside, I positioned myself behind her and to her left at a distance, and when all was said and done, and everyone started to move away from the grave I approached her and with all the love in my heart said to her "This is neither the time or the place, but I would truly love to have a coffee with you someday and talk about your Mom." this I think threw her a little but we agreed to talk another time, and I left her to her pain.

One day when she was in town visiting her Dad after the shock had worn down a bit, we talked at some length and agreed that she would call me when she was next in town and we would get together for a coffee and our conversation.

I didn't hear from her for about two weeks, and then late one morning as I was sitting with friends in a local restaurant (we met every morning for coffee and conversation), I got a call from her saying she was in town visiting her dad and she would be free in about an hour, so I told her where to meet me and to call me as she was leaving and I would meet her on the street corner.

Needless to say, I was a tad excited to be finally getting to spend some time with her ( I had known from the first minute we met that she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with ), and it would be a for-telling of the rest of my life. About 45 minutes later I got a call from her saying she had just left her dads place and that she would be there in about 20 minutes all things considered, so I told her where I was, how to get to me, and that I would be waiting on the corner for her.

35 minutes later, freezing my tookis off, she finally pulled up, I got into her car and she apologized for how long it took, "No problem at all" was my reply ( I would later realize that this was to be an on-going tradition of me waiting for her :) ). So I showed her how to get into the nearby underground parking, and off we went. Once parked we came outside and started to walk to a nearby restaurant for our "coffee and chat". I'd noticed she didn't have gloves so I dangled my hand incase she wanted to hold onto it for warmth, what occurred next blew my socks off. Jaliya sidled up to me and hooked her arm around my waist, latched her thumb through a belt loop and gave a little snug, this blew me away, I looked at her and we laughed and continued to the restaurant.

Well, long story somewhat short, our 45 minute "chat" turned into a 4hour lunch, and as they say, the rest is history. We were separated by distance only for a short time and since I made the choice to move to her, we have never been separated, until now.

So dear people, that was our beginning, and I have loved her, been in love with her and found our way to love with her these 7 years, and we will be together forever, this we know in our bones. But this has been a trying year, filled with much pain for my love and I, and we are still here, and just had a great weekend together, and now the hours apart don't seem so long for I get to see her in 2 days on a visit, and then 2 days later for another weekend. And so it goes.

To all of you I wish health, happiness and love. Keep your hearts true and kind and I will talk to you again soon. Peace be with you all.